i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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