Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think i have two assholes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
