I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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