OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
