so that wasnt chicken after all
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
