He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
