Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
