watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
