its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize