Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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