come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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