my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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