Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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