He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
