bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
