I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
did you just send me my own nude
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
PANTIES FOUND
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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