Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
