I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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