Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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