just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
