Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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