Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
