Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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