dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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