I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I understand Curling. That high.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
