My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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