I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
