i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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