You're completely useless in the revolution.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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