It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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