also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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