Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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