you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
