remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
