Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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