She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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