THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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