Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
