Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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