Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I will pee on everything he values.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
