brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
