you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
