we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
