Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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