I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
