the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
