I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think my mom watched the whole time
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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