You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
