I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
