its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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