Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
