I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
