thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
